If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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