can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
