So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
