And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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