Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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