I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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