what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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