areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
