I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
