Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
