sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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