Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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