operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
