I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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