Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
