Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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