Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
