why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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