the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
