Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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