If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
