alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
