I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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