I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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