let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
