i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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