We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
