you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
