I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
