She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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