You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
