yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
