the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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