I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
