I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
