So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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