well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize