): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
