And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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