I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
