Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
