Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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