Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
