i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
