Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
