peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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