i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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