Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
