I bet he comes in French.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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