I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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