how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
