We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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