Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
